FILMS TO GET PSYCHED ABOUT

This summer has the potential to be a smacker. If you find yourself in desperate need of shelter from the buckets of rain and biting cold of mid-June, or maybe you just want a moment away from the embarrassing opening ceremony of the Olympics (who's idea was it to follow China?); perhaps you just have to escape seeing another torrid performance from Woy the boy's (premature speculation, I know) squad of failures, goofs, and has-beens - you should look no further than your local dark room filled with dozens of strangers. Grab your nearest compatriot, sneak some 99p starburst into your pockets and get yo' punk ass down to see some high quality moving images.

I was spurred to write this mainly because of the irrevocable and intense feeling of joy that I felt after watching the international launch trailer of Prometheus that was released yesterday. Ridley Scott is one of my favourite directors - Blade Runner is the shit, and Black Hawk Down is probably my favourite war movie (maybe a close second to Behind Enemy Lines) - but Prometheus sees Scott returning to what he began over 30 years ago with Alien. He's doing a quasi-prequel, and he's doing it properly. With a little writing help from Damon Lindelof of Lost fame, which means it's sure to have some vibe of "jesus christ, what the fuck is going on here?" Plus if you still need to find another reason - it stars Fassbender, Guy Pearce AND Idris Alba.

YO STRING.

Sticking with the intergalactic for just one moment: Philly Philm's very own Willard Christopher Smith is back from a bit of a soppy hiatus - Pursuit of Happiness/Seven Pounds/I Am Legend - to return to the role that he was born to play. Yes ladies and gentlemen, MIB III is round the corner. This is one that i'm slightly more skeptical about - the MIB franchise is one of my all time favourites and I'm just not sure if it's been left dormant too long; whether returning to it they're going to find it's lost its gusto, its zing, its energy, and is now, as a trilogy, just going to crawl across the finish line vomiting blood. Plus the film features Will using a time travel device to vault himself back to 1960s USA. Don't know if he's ever flicked past the History channel, but that was not the smartest of moves. Head South and pronounce gay rights, J, not even moving to Bel Air will save you.

this has all my favourite things

From the serious, through the comical, to the downright fucking badass in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Just to give you some idea, the tag line for this film is: "President Lincoln's mother was killed by a supernatural creature, which fuels his passion to crush vampires and their slave-owning helpers." WHAT? That's the sort of sentence you have to read a few times before it really sinks in. Blink, rub your eyes, and you realise it WILL actually be the 16th President of my adopted nation CRUSHING (amazing verb choice 20th Century) hordes of proslavery vampires. So what if it's gonna be in 3D? And so what if Tim Burton has been sticking his dirty, unwashed, despicable hands in the project? This is going to be 90 minutes of watching Abraham Lincoln kill the shit out of some vampires, and I'm gonna imagine Edward Cullen's shining face on every last one of those bastards ol' honest Abe hacks down. Let me have this one pretty please?

historically RAD

Oh and then there's the little unfinished matter of Dark Knight Rises. Nolan's got a lot to live up to - the hype for this one has been intense. Fans are about ready to storm his Batcave in an angered mob (and by that I mean bitch on twitter and blogspot) if he disappoints the legions of pro-DC supporters. But it's the good type of pressure that comes after making 2 sublime Batman films. Hopefully Nolan thrives under this expectancy, and we are treated to lots of Cat Woman, lots of Michael Caine & Gary Oldman, and lots of awesome cinematography/editing/everything we've grown accustomed to under Nolan's sheltering batwing.

"I'm the batman"