REVIEW - CAPTAIN 'MURKA: The World's Worst Avenger

Sadly there was never much hope for this film. Captain America is probably one of the worst Superheroes that Marvel/DC/anyone has ever created, and deserves to be placed on this list: Cracked - The 7 Crappiest Super Heroes in Comic Book History. He was made by Marvel in '41 mostly as propaganda, to boost the morale of the American G.I.s screwing Europe's women for a Hershey bar. He wears a US flag, has some stupid shield and shoots a pistol with infinite bullets. He's also that same damned underdog character that appears in about 98% of American blockbusters, you know - the one who's from a poor background, has no luck, gets given no chance; but find the courage, has enough heart and American blood in him to overcome any foreign Communist or Fascist obstacle to reach his goal, where his woman is usually in wait.

THERE HE IS. That guy.

Despite the overarching shitness of its lead character, the film was given a chance with its fairly decent bill of actors. Hugo Weaving and Tommy Lee Jones to name a couple, plus it was directed by Joe Johnston - who did Jumanji and Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. I wish I could tell you that these lovely people rescued it from the depths of comic crapdom, unfortunately this is not the case. The film decided not to use its trump cards on the right hand, and instead decided focus on an overly cliche and heavily sentimental plot of America standing up for the little guy with its captain of lycra. This film makes Hugo Weaving look bad, and we all know that's not true.

ALL HAIL.

You've got to wonder how much of an underdog, good-triumphing-over-evil, story line one film can handle. Turns out, not that much - with Cap'n Murka singlehandedly attempting to take down a group of Ultra Nazis, headed by a red faced Hugo Weaving, whilst trying to learn how to talk to women, defend his nations identity and avenge his best bud. Sure, there's enough pretty sweet action sequences, and some pretty rad deaths-by-shield, to interject the "America is the Greatest" theme and make the film enjoyable at points; but that's about all it has to offer. Also, there's a sequence with C.America on a motorbike fighting henchmen whilst driving through a forest that I thought looked suspiciously familiar...

CAPTAIN LUKE SKYWALKER vs...

PRINCESS AMERICA

Just me?








Plagiarism arguments and petty idea stealing disputes aside - one strength of the film is in its homage/link to Iron Man. Howard Stark, father of Tony Stark (IRON MAN/R.D.Jr) is the ever-suave scientific mind behind all of the technology our hero gets his hands on. Including that damned shield, which is made from the most expensive/rare/lovely metal known to Stark Industries, is tough enough to take anything the Nazis fire at it, AND acts as a constant boomerang wherever America chucks it.

Probably why he loves it so much.

There is just enough of the right amount of Stark, so thankfully we don't see an over reliance on the already successful Iron Man franchise. We do see, however, this film as the perfect lead out for Marvel into their Avengers series, and so The First Avenger feels more of a stepping for better things - rather than a film that can stand on its own two feet and sing the star spangled banner. Obviously there's going to be a Captain America 2, the ending was a little too obvious about that fact, but THE AVENGERS is probably the more important film for them - and hopefully it will be a tad better, because I do not have high hopes for Cpt. USA Pt. 2.

What can't this man do?